Upbeat Cynicism

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Archive for the ‘Herself’ Category

More sweetness and light from the Greatest Woman Ever

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Roanne Jean Isidro Valenzuela has a hissy fit every time I expose her mendacity, her viciousness, or her deceit.

Well, here’s some more.

Hey, attacking me has gotten her exposed in a way that she hates up to this point. The obvious way to make me stop is to… yes, attack me some more, and do so in low, vile, utterly dishonest and unconscionable ways.

Here are just two examples of what I have been enduring recently, comments made in my name on Flickr:

Fraudulent comment

Yet another fraudulent comment

Needless to say, those comments were not made by me, nor from my account. She created an account to fraudulently use my name and image to leave such comments and defame me.

And it’s hardly the first time.

This is, in fact, the seventh account that Flickr has shut down for abuse of my name and image.

This is the image of righteousness, the apex of virtue and morality, according to Miss Valenzuela. Because she is angry, everything is permitted, nothing is forbidden, she will never back down, never apologize, never admit that she has gone too far or done anything wrong, except by way of accusing me of having done worse. I have never done such despicable things, let alone with such persistence or enmity.

I’m posting this for the benefit of anyone who ever Googles her name. She is a deeply disturbed woman, as evidenced above and in my past posts tagged with her name. She will rationalize any behavior to suit her whim, and never suffer even the slightest twinge of conscience.

Roanne Valenzuela is a racist

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UPDATE 20071217: Turns out, some while ago, Miss Valenzuela posted an extended diatribe (in which she very reasonably wished death upon me, amongst other pleasantries) that included a remarkably risible claim that calling her a racist is “ridiculous”. So I’m reiterating, here at the top of the post, her own words on this subject:

Roanne: Then go ahead and publish it. I’m proud.
Roanne: I’m not sorry that I’m a racist.

Those words were written by her in an IM chat on 6 December 2008, and I have the archives to prove it. She is both proud and not sorry that she is a racist. Her words. Yet it is “ridiculous” to call her such, despite her pride in it, despite her not being sorry for it, and despite her vile attacks on a completely innocent woman, as demonstrated below.

She’s tried many, many times to get me to erase this evidence of her viciousness and bigotry. Which is why it will never disappear.


When things were good between my ex-fianceé, Roanne Jean Isidro Valenzuela, and myself, I made the enormous mistake of telling her about my life, trusting her to keep private things which were private, and to honor that which I valued.

One of the people from my past whom I told her about was a friend, a Chinese woman whom I have always admired, in addition to liking. She was (and is) one of the smartest people I have ever known, a good person, and just good to know.

I further made the mistake of telling her name to Roanne.

After she falsely accused me of statutory rape, and had that blow up in her face, Roanne Valenzuela did not do what any rational and sane human being would do. She did not back off and reexamine herself to determine what had driven her to make such a vile accusation. Hell, she only apologized for form’s sake, and immediately recanted her apology, saying it meant nothing, she didn’t mean it, and she only made it because she “had to”.

Instead of trying to become a better person, she simply chose a different target to attack.

She found this lady’s Chinese blog, and started leaving racist filth in the comments. She did this because I had expressed a positive opinion about this woman, and because she is a nihilist, only truly happy when causing people better than her pain.

Here are some screen shots of the garbage she spewed:

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None of this had any effect on the lady in question, because she is not insecure in any way. She found it, in fact, sadly amusing.

Proving that Miss Valenzuela is not only a racist, but indeed a nihilist, she responded to this by lamenting that, since she couldn’t make her target feel bad, her verbal assaults were “for nothing” and she was a failure. Here is what she said in an IM chat on 1 November 2008 (emphases added, slight re-arrangement of lines to make clearer which lines were in answer to which):

Roanne: Was she offended at all?
Me: No.
Roanne: Huh.
Roanne: Why not?
Roanne: That’s too bad.
Me: In fact, she said that you seemed very passionate.
Roanne: About what?
Me: She said she was baffled, but not offended. She couldn’t figure why someone would bother.
Me: She didn’t say, but she said it after I told her it was you, and gave her the general idea of why.
Roanne: I’m a failure.
Me: So I guess she meant you were passionate about me.
Roanne: Man.
Roanne: Maaan.
Roanne: All that for nothing.
Me: It’s just that she’s too secure a person to have an anonymous troll affect her.
Roanne: So you’re calling me a troll now?
Roanne: And I’m what insecure?
Roanne: Huh.
Me: What you did was trolling.
Me: You have heard the term, I hope?
Me: And I did not say anything about you being secure or not.
Me: I said something about her.
Roanne: There’s no way she’s nicer than me.
Roanne: Or prettier.

Yes, she did say that there was “no way” the woman she told to hang herself in a shower and die was nicer than her.

Not content to restrict her bilious hate to one person, she also posted this as her Twitter bio:

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She was so proud of this that she left it intact for more than a week.

This post has been in draft form for some time. At one point, I did tell her about it, warning that if she continued being abusive, I would post it. And she gave explicit permission to publish it. From a chat on 6 December 2008:

Roanne: Then go ahead and publish it. I’m proud.
Roanne: I’m not sorry that I’m a racist.

Yes, she’s proud of spewing vicious hate and racist filth, trying to berate a complete stranger into suicide. And she said so directly and explicitly.

Now that she is fraudulently creating web accounts in my name and leaving racist trash in various places, pretending to be me, I’m making very clear that this is her kind of behavior, not mine.

So, if you are considering hiring Miss Valenzuela, especially in the United States, take into consideration that she is an unrepentant racist, a bigot, and someone who will attack innocent strangers in the most vicious ways just to vent her frustrations.

On top of that, she has demonstrated that she will erase, delete, or alter the public record (if she can) the moment her viciousness is exposed, because her greatest fear is not what she is, but simply “looking bad” to others. She will lie without compunction or shame to cover up her bad acts.

Is this really the kind of nurse you want caring for your patients?

UPDATE: Yes, I have removed links. Not, as Miss Valenzuela asserts, out of cowardice, but because I will not help her in her campaign to smear me with lies, distortions, and severely misleading out-of-context facts. She has proven, yet again, that she has no respect for the truth, and I simply removed what little sanction my links gave to her vendetta.

Furthermore, she claims that what she posted was a “defense” of herself. She made no effort to defend what she did or what she said, she merely attacked me. Argumentum ad Hominem is not a defense it is a fallacy.

Because it is necessary

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I take no joy in posting this, but, as will be clear, I must.

My relationship with my former fiancee is now ended and all ties have been cut. This would normally be a private matter, except that she has exhibited such contempt in the past for even the most basic forms of ethics and morality that I must now preempt the very likely event that she will continue her ways.

My name is Ian Michael Hamet, and if you get a message from me that seems off or odd or in some way not right, there is a good chance that it is not from me.

There are a few ways of ensuring that it really is from me. The easiest is to check to see that it is signed with my PGP key, available at the bottom of this post and on my Contact page. If it is not signed (which happens when I send from web mail most of the time), then reply and ask for me to verify with a signed response.

Further, if you see my name on some web service or other, check it against my ClaimID page. If it’s not there, then it’s not mine (excepting some dating profiles, at the moment), and treat anything said in my name as being fraudulent.

Roanne Valenzuela has demonstrated, repeatedly, that she is not above forging web accounts and profiles in order to slander and defame individuals — not just myself, she has done it to others as well.

She has also demonstrated that there is no lie she will not tell to achieve her ends, even if that end is simply causing the most minor frustration to her “enemy”. She has, for instance, accused me of “impersonating” her “husband” on Flickr in order to get other Flickr users to block me. (She has never been married, and I present myself under my actual name on Flickr.) I posted this information on my profile to forestall future lies about me, and she now claims that I am “attacking” her by telling the truth about her actions. In my judgment, if she did not wish to “look bad”, she should not have done things which would cast her in such a light.

This is on top of last autumn’s melodrama, in which she falsely accused me of statutory rape, for no reason other than she wanted to “get back” at me.

So, any accusation directed at me must be treated with suspicion, as it may very well be her making the accusation under an assumed identity on the internet. Any accusation she makes directly should be treated as a lie or, at the very best, a statement that has only the most tendentious, tortured, and distant relationship with reality. Even if some statement she makes is, strictly speaking, true, she has no compunction about using fact to give completely false impressions.

When I make a mistake, I own it — as shown when I inadvertently plagiarized J. Neil Schulman, admitted it immediately when I realized it, offered to do any blog post he asked as penance, and then did so.

I am not afraid of my mistakes, but I will not tolerate slander or libel. Roanne Valenzuela is above neither, and has demonstrated it repeatedly. The fact that she keeps erasing her past postings from the internet only further proves that not only does she do such things, she knows them to be wrong. She makes the error of thinking that if the evidence is erased, the damage “undone”, then she has then done nothing wrong.


Anything that is said about me, especially if it seems like tabloid material, please do not accept without at least checking with me first and letting me know.

Thank you.

Ye gods, I was engaged to Lina Lamont

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You don’t have a right to be arrogant. You’re a freaking nobody.

I have no right to require civility and simple courtesy when she deals with me (the “arrogance” mentioned), and I lack this right because I am “nobody”. Lovely.

Written by [IMH]

12 March 2009 at 8:37 am

Posted in Herself

Happy Birthday, Herself!

with 2 comments

Herself is 23 years young tomorrow (but today, her time).

And, rocky as things have been and are, I still love her.

What ever happens, I shall always wish her well.

Happy Birthday, my love.

Written by [IMH]

22 November 2008 at 9:34 am

Posted in Herself

To Herself

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I’m sorry.

Written by [IMH]

19 November 2008 at 3:57 pm

Posted in Herself

A note

with 13 comments

I haven’t been posting, because I have a hard time writing when emotionally drained.

For a small, small taste of what I have been putting up with privately, Herself, whose real name is Roanne Jean Isidro Valenzuela, publicly (and falsely) accused me of statutory rape (link removed, she has since deleted the post, but it was public; I duplicate it here to defend myself, as well as to expose just how out of proportion her treatment of me is as measured against the mistake I made):

Ian Michael Hamet is a statutory rapist. He admitted that he once fondled a 17-year-old chink when he was 7 years older. He is not as decent as he thinks and as you think. That is all.

I initially rebutted her on that post, but she is a huge fan of Soviet revisionism, altering text and inventing facts to suit whatever her mood happens to be; so I shall post my response here, where she cannot change it. ((Since writing this paragraph, she has sent the entire post down the memory hole. The first thing she did was to alter my rebuttal to a false admission made in my name. ))

The age of consent in the state where it occurred, Michigan, as well as most other states in the US, is 16. Therefore, whatever occurred was not statutory. Herself knows this, but doesn’t care.

The young lady was perhaps a month shy of her 18th birthday when I was briefly involved with her. Herself may or may not know that, but wouldn’t care.

No intercourse occurred. So whatever happened, it could not possibly be characterized as rape. Herself knows this (though she tried hard to ignore it), but does not care.

Thus, the charge is without any basis in fact, and she knows it. Nevertheless, she will not remove it, she will not admit that she is wrong, and she will never, ever apologize.

The racist epithet is nothing new from her, either, as evidenced by her lovely recent comment on this blog:

Oh, I’d be the happiest bitch on earth if you wrote that fugly gook that email. YOU just don’t want me to be happy, plain and simple. And what do you know what makes me happy? I probably lied about it, rightright.

She excoriated me for approving that comment but not another made at about the same time, but I have warned her several times. I disapprove of using public blog comments for private messages, and she keeps trying them anyway. The other comment was also sent as an email. Since that one was sent properly, i.e. privately, I simply deleted the comment. But, since the above comment was only made as a comment, I called her bluff and made it public. She unleashed more fury on me for it, saying it was entirely my fault, and that I was trying to make her look bad. Since I didn’t write the thing, and have approved it unaltered, I leave the matter of who is responsible for making her look bad as an exercise for the reader.

Here is the email she’s talking about, as demanded in a chat from May 2007:

[S]end her a [message] telling her she’s a vitenamese hocheese. Nothing else, no mention of me, no nothing. And I want a screenshot to prove it. Ok, I gtg. Bye, my love. Have a good night sleep. 😀

(“Hocheese” is a word that Herself apparently invented, meant to suggest “whore” and simply be offensive and cruel.)

Herself does have some legitimate reason for anger, but only at me. I maintained a correspondence with the lady for a few months, unknown to Herself and against her wishes. While I had my reasons, I was wrong to do so. I ended the correspondence on my own — which, for some reason, is cause for even more anger ((This is a point which makes no sense to me — if she is angry that I made the mistake, which is what she maintains, then shouldn’t the fact that I ended the mistake of my own free will, without coercion of any kind, lessen the error, or alleviate it to some extent? It does not, she hates me even more for it, and I cannot fathom why. )) — before Herself ever knew of it. And once she did know, I apologized, fully and completely. The kind of apology that starts with “I was wrong”, not the phony “I’m sorry you are too stupid to have understood what I really meant” kind. The other lady was in no way responsible for my actions, and what happened was entirely my fault.

(Contrary to Herself’s assertions ((In case she engages in more Soviet revisionism, here is the content of that Twit:

He doesn’t want his readers to find out what he had done to me. So to them, I would always be the bad guy.

)), the reason I did not previously relate the above story was not to keep myself from looking bad, it was because the matter was private, and thus I did not discuss it publicly. She refuses to understand or acknowledge that there is anything that should be kept private. Except, of course, when I approve intemperate comments she has made on a public forum. A secondary reason was to keep her from looking bad. Now that she has forced the issue, I have related the essentials of the wrong I did, and she is proven wrong once again.)

I refused to write any such email, of course. She maintains that this “proves” that I put this other lady (with whom I have had no contact in about a year and a half) above Herself.

What it actually demonstrates is that I have principles and adhere to them. One such principle is that I do not use racist epithets, for reasons that I should think are obvious. Another is that I do not hurt people unless necessary, or that person has done something to earn it. ((And even then, I have a rather long history of taking more pain on myself than I pass on, something that she knows very well, but will not admit, because it might make me look good. )) Appeasing Herself’s irrational whims is not necessary in any sense of the word, and the individual she wants me to hurt has done nothing to deserve it.

From anyone else in the world, the mere use of a word like “chink” would end my friendship with her.

In Herself’s case, I do my best to take such emotional outbursts in stride, and rebuke them gently when I think she is open to hearing it, because she grew up in an emotionally abusive environment, and simply does not know any other way to deal with her pain and anger.

However, publicly accusing me of a crime, with full knowledge that the accusation is false, is out of bounds. There is no excuse for such irresponsible and slanderous remarks. So I am exposing her just as publicly as she made the accusation, in a forum where she cannot delete or alter what has been said.

This is, again, a mere taste of what she has been subjecting me to directly and privately. In the past, she would have a bad week or two, and then behave as a responsible adult for weeks or even months before reverting back to this sort of thing. This time it has been more or less constant — pure hostility and venom from the very beginning of September to this moment, without relief.

When I maintain that she will say anything at all in order to hurt me, I am not exaggerating. Truth and reality are of no import to her, only her feelings, no matter how wrong they lead her.

Yes, I should probably leave her.

But I won’t.

First, I don’t think any other man on the planet could tolerate her through even one of these emotional pyrotechnic displays. She very clearly needs help, and how can she get it if someone won’t weather her at her worst? Since I love her, and can tolerate it (though not without protest), I abide.

And, perhaps pettily, she has been trying to manipulate me into leaving her, and I won’t give her that satisfaction. She keeps declaring that she’d be happier if I left her, but she won’t do it herself, for whatever reason.

In any event, she has gone so far out of bounds in the baseless and slanderous accusation, that I now demand, publicly, that she make a full and complete apology for her words, without any attempt to shift blame to anyone other than the person who wrote them and posted them for all the internet to see.

As she never apologizes, and certainly never in the honorable and complete fashion I require, I imagine that I have a long wait ahead.

Written by [IMH]

14 October 2008 at 8:35 pm