Upbeat Cynicism

what do you mean i lost my mind?

In loving tribute

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We lost two magnificent, underappreciated actors the other day.

While it was something of a shock, losing both Ricardo Montalban and Patrick MacGoohan on the same day, it also got me thinking: what would happen if their two most iconic roles happened to meet…

[scrippet]
EXT. FANTASY ISLAND – DAY

Out near the horizon, a small dot moves against the sky, accompanied by the sound of a distant propeller churning the air.

TATTOO scurries up the path to ROARKE’s bungalow and rings the bell.

TATTOO
Boss! Da plane! Da plane!

ROARKE
Ah, yes, Tattoo, today we have a very special client. We must see that he gets everything that he desires.

The plane lands, and Tattoo leads a lean, sandy-haired, very tense man dressed in black up to Roarke’s bungalow.

NUMBER 6
Where am I?

ROARKE
My dear guest, welcome to Fantasy Island!

NUMBER 6
What do you want?

ROARKE
Why, to grant you your deepest fantasy, sir! And all I require to do so is… information.

NUMBER 6
Whose side are you on?

ROARKE
Side? I am unaware of being on anybody’s “side”. I am here merely to grant you your fantasy. And to do that, as I have said, I will require… information.

NUMBER 6
You won’t get it!

ROARKE
Oh, I think that I will.

NUMBER 6
Who are you?

ROARKE
I am Mr. Roarke. And this is my assistant, Tattoo.

NUMBER 6
Who is Number One?

ROARKE
You are Number Six.

NUMBER 6
I am not a number. I am a free man!

ROARKE
(laughing amiably)
Mister Six, I think you are taking this all a little too seriously. Have a margarita, please.
[/scrippet]

From there it could go a couple of directions. I really dig the idea of Roarke standing in that funky Village control center, the one with the spinning metallic teeter-totter in the middle. And Rover would have to factor into things somehow, too. Maybe he and Tattoo could vie for the spot of Roarke’s best helper? 🙂

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  1. “The Prisoner” was/is MOST amazingly cool.

    Tor Hershman

    18 January 2009 at 11:45 am


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